Champagne

No need for celebration, Mr. Bond always enjoys a chilled glass Bollinger.
No need for celebration, Mr. Bond always enjoys a chilled glass Bollinger.

If you’re interested in living like a WASP, then it is essential that you know how to party like a WASP.  And whether you’re living it up urban style on the Upper East Side, or relaxing in the Connecticut countryside, no WASP party would be complete without a generous helping of the bubbly.  Or in other words, that most cheerful of all wines, Champagne.

Champagne has a lot going for it.  It’s versatile, it’s one of the best quality wines on the planet, and it’s virtually synonymous with fun and celebration.

Oh yes, did I also mention that it’s James Bond’s drink of choice?  Sure everything knows about the dry vodka martini (shaken, not stirred), but read Bond’s first adventure in Casino Royal and you’ll see him reaching for a flute far more often than a martini glass.

Bond and the the obvious WASP cred aside, Champagne (and better sparkling wine) really does up the enjoyment factor of  nearly any occasion.  So do yourself a favor; pitch that bottle of André and read on to learn how to select, drink, and enjoy a magnum of the good stuff like a pro.

Champagne – Une Histoire:

A common misconception is that Champagne was invented by a Benedictine Monk by the name of Dom Pérignon during his stint as cellar master at the Abbey of Hautvillers in the later half of the 17th century.  In truth sparkling wine had been produced over a century earlier by monks at the Abbey of Saint-Hilaire in Limoux (Saint Hilaire sparkling wine is still available on the market today for a bargain price of $12 a bottle).

None the less, Dom Pérignon was instrumental (certainly more than any other individual) in the development and perfection of what we know as Champagne today.  Perhaps his greatest contribution was refining the process of in-bottle fermentation to produce carbonation in wine, however that’s far from his only achievement.  For example, he was among the first to blend base wines to develop certain characteristics in his finished sparking wines.  He was one of the pioneers of making white wine from red grapes, a process still common today.  He was also the first to use a cork stopper for Champagne bottles and a leader in recognizing the benefits of cellar aging.

A worker attending to bottles undergoing secondary, in-bottle, fermentation during the Méthode Champenoise.
A worker attending to bottles undergoing secondary, in-bottle, fermentation during the Méthode Champenoise.

However, what really set things in motion was the perfection of the Méthode Champenoise, or Champagne Method (sometimes known as the Traditional Method) of sparkling wine production in the 19th century.  This is the method that all Champagne, and better sparkling wines, still practice to this day.  Without getting too in depth, it involves the creation of a blended base wine, which is then given a does of sugar and yeast, and fermented a second time in a sealed bottle to produce the carbonation that makes sparkling wine sparkle.

The Champagne method of production, combined with the ideal climate and soil of the Champagne region, quickly lead to the explosive growth and popularity of the sparkling wine from Champagne (known by then simply as Champagne) among Europeans and the British during the 18th and 19th centuries.  Over the first half of the 19th century alone, Champagne production increased from 300,000 bottles to over 20 million bottles.  From that point on, the world never looked back.

Today there are thousands of producers, making making millions of cases, of sparking wine in the traditional method, yet Champagne remains the benchmark by which all others are judged, and often fail.

Bubbly Basics:

While Champagne can seem overly complicated, it’s really not so long as you understand a few basics notions.

The first, and most important, distinction that you must know is that while all Champagne is sparkling wine, not all sparkling wine is Champagne.  The use of the word Champagne is reserved by EU law for only those sparkling wines produced by the traditional method and in the Champagne region of France.  Other, sometimes very good, sparkling wines are made in the traditional method throughout France (labeled as Cremant), Europe, and the rest of the world, but true Champagne only comes from Champagne.

A typical Champagne label.   Note the use of the word Champagne and the "Product of France" at the bottom.  That's how you know it's the real deal.
A typical Champagne label. Note the use of the word Champagne and the “Product of France” at the bottom. That’s how you know it’s the real deal.

Outside the EU some producers will still use the term Champagne (ex. California Champagne) on their labels, but with increased globalization, that’s becoming rarer and rarer.  Most better producers will gladly self identify as sparkling wine rather than attempt to free ride off the famous name.  If you’re ever unsure, always look for “Product of France” on the label to know you’re getting the real deal.

The second thing you’ll want to know is how to identify the level of sweetness you’re getting.  While not as simple as looking for “not sweet” or “sweet” on the label, cracking the sparkling wine sweetness code isn’t all that difficult.  For the most part there are only three types you’ll ever encounter:

  • Brut:  Typically dry to very dry (that is to say, not sweet) and the most common type of Champagne (and sparkling wine) available.  This is also the most versatile type of Champagne, but one thing it is not suited for is dessert.
  • Extra Sec (Extra Dry):  Here’s where it gets a little confusing because extra dry actually means “not very dry” or “slightly sweet”.  This is a popular, easy drinking variety of Champagne that’s still fairly versatile in terms of pairings.  However it’s still not up the challenge of dessert.
  • Demi-Sec (Medium Dry):  These are less common and represent the sweetest Champagne you’re likely to find in stores (there’s a Doux, or “very sweet”, version as well, but it’s difficult to find).  These can be quite good depending on your taste and is the only Champagne up to the task of tackling a sweet dessert.

Next is learning to identify the varying levels of quality available.  When it comes to Champagne there three basic levels of wine made by producers.  In order of increasing quality they are:

  • Non Vintage: The most common type of Champagne available, this is the standard offering released every year by the producers.  It’s blended from a mix of current and past vintage wines with the goal of recreating an identifiable house style (more on that later) from year to year.  As such it will not have any sort of vintage date on the label.  It’s typically aged between 1.5 and 2 years prior to release.  Non-Vintage (N.V.) Champagnes usually sell in the $20-$50 depending on quality and the producer.
  • A bottle of Louis Roederer's Prestige Cuvee Cristal.  Note the vintage year.
    A bottle of Louis Roederer’s Prestige Cuvee Cristal. Note the vintage year.

    Vintage: These are sparkling wines created with the wine of a single (usually) good year, or vintage.  Typically they’re made with better grapes, from better vineyards, and aged longer, anywhere between 2 and 5 years.  The result is usually a much more complex and concentrated wine.  Look for the vintage date on the label and expect to pay a little more over the N.V. price for that added quality, normally in the $60-$100 range.

  • Prestige Cuvée:  These are the top of the range offerings from the best producers.  Like the Vintage variety, they’re produced from wines of a single vintage and only during exceptionally good year.  They’re made with only the best grapes from the most prestigious vineyards and are typically aged for 5-8 years prior to release.  You won’t find Prestige Cuvée on the label, so you’ll have to identify these beauties by the vintage date, the price tag ($100-$500 at release), and by their trademark names such as Louis Roederer’s Cristal, Moët & Chandon’s Dom Pérignon, or Veuve Clicquot’s La Grande Dame.  While expensive, these really do represent the finest, richest, and most concentrated sparkling wines on earth.

Aside from those general categories, one other item to look for are the words Premier Cru or Grand Cru on the label.  These are indications that the grapes used for the wine were sourced from a select group of specially designated vineyards (Grand Cru being the highest honor) in Champagne and is usually a good indicator of quality.  Prestige Cuvée wines for example will likely be sourced from nothing but Grand Cru vineyards.  However, it is possible to find Premier Cru or even Grand Cru Champagnes from smaller grower/producers at very reasonable prices.

A Grand Cru vineyard in Champagne. This provides the raw materials for the best sparkling wine on the planet.

Lastly we come to the issue of style.  This is where things can get a little ambiguous, but the basic idea is to remember that each Champagne house tries to make a consistent tasting Champagne with their N.V. offering each year.  That consistency can be thought of as each house’s particular style, and while it can be specific down to the individual producer, in practice there are three basic types:

  • Light and Elegant:  This style is characterized by a pronounced acidity or tartness and dominant flavors of citrus fruit.  Generally made from mostly white grapes, such as Chardonnay, they are the lightest bodied, crispest, and most refreshing Champagnes available.  Typical producers are: Mumm, Perrier-Jouët, Piper-Heidsieck, and Tattinger.
  • Medium Bodied:  Like the name implies, these are the middle ground Champagnes with respect to body and flavor.  They’re usually made with more red grapes, such as Pinot Noir, and as a result offer more red berry and biscuity flavors along with the citrus.  Well known producers are: Moët & Chandon and Pol Roger.
  • Full Bodied:  These are typically the more intense and concentrated with less acidity.  They’re made with a higher proportion of red grapes and feature full flavors of berries and toasted bread.  They can also have an almost creamy style texture that’s just wonderful.  Typical producers are: Bollinger, Krug, Veuve Cliquot, and Louis Roederer.

There is really no difference in quality between styles (at the same level at least) and what you like comes down to a matter of personal taste and perhaps occasion.  The only way to find out your own preferred style is to try them all!

When to Drink Champagne:

The traditional notion is that Champagne is for celebrating, like at a wedding toast, and sadly that’s the only time that most people will enjoy it.  Even more unfortunate is that the “Champagne” typically served for those occasions is about as far from real Champagne as you can get…

Champagne and caviar are a classic pairing, but the wine is equally at home with anything oily or salty.
Champagne and caviar are a classic pairing, but the wine is equally at home with anything oily or salty.

That’s a shame because Champagne (and sparkling win in general) is perhaps the most versatile wine you can buy.  Between all the different styles and products available, there’s literally a sparkling wine to go with any occasion.

As an appetizer and with dinner Brut Champagne goes with just about anything, but is happiest when paired with salty and oily foods.  That means you can very properly enjoy a glass of Champagne with anything from a plate of caviar, to peanuts, to french fries and fried chicken.

When it’s time for dinner you may want to opt for a fuller bodied style, which will go with just about anything you like, but especially so with seafood or pasta dishes.  One of my favorite pairings is Champagne with spicy Asian cuisine, which works exceptionally well.  The only real exception is to stay away from tomato based sauces, which can clash with the wine.  Nobody is perfect.

For dessert make sure to put away the Brut and break out the Demi-Sec Champagne to accompany sweeter dishes.  It will go best with lighter colored desserts such as lemon dishes, fruit, and custard, however no one will arrest you for enjoying some with a piece of chocolate cake either.

And finally, why confine your drinking to the evening?  Champagne is equally at home in the morning, especially during brunch.  Early in the day pair it with egg and mushroom dishes for a real treat, or mix it two parts to one with orange juice for that other brunch classic, the Mimosa.

How to Drink Champagne:

The general rule is that you’ll want to serve sparkling wine cold, around 40 degrees.  Better Champagnes can be served slightly warmer, but I would never go north of 50 degrees.  Just make sure never to leave the bottle in the fridge for long periods of time since it can pick up off odors and/or be disturbed by the fridge motor as it cycles on and off.  Rather, keep Champagne with your other wines and chill it in the fridge for a few hours before drinking.

When it comes time to open the bottle, don’t be intimidated.  Make sure it’s properly chilled (to reduce pressure) and remove the foil and wire enclosure from around the cork.   Place a dish towel over the cork, get a firm grip on the towel, and slowly rotate it (and the cork) back and fourth while holding the bottle steady and pointed away from anything, or anyone, you don’t want damaged.  When you feel the cork begin to rise, apply slight downward pressure to hold it back as you continue twisting so it eases out as slowly as possible.  While a loud “POP” is dramatic and fun, what you’re really after is a slight “sigh” to release the pressure as slowly as possible.

A simple flue is the perfect way to enjoy the magic in every glass of Champagne.
A simple flue is the perfect way to enjoy the magic in every glass of Champagne.

As for stemware, you can drink Champagne out of anything, but the classic flute or tulip glass is what you really want.  These tall, narrow glasses are specifically designed to retain carbonation in the wine while letting you enjoy the bubbles as they move up through the glass.  The long stem also insulates from body heat, helping to keep your wine cool longer.  You’ll want to avoid the classic bowl shaped Champagne glasses as they allow all those bubbles and aroma you paid so much for escape far too quickly.

Lastly a word on aging.  All Champagnes claim to be ready to drink upon release, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be at their best.  Prestige cuvées reach their peak 10-15 years after release and will keep for decades after.  Even basic NV Champagne will benefit from a few years in cool, dark place.  However, do not attempt to age your Champagne if you can’t offer it the right conditions (50-60 degrees) for a long time.  If you’re plan it to age it on a wine rack in the kitchen, then it will never be better than now!

Don't age wine if you can't provide the right conditions!  This is ideal, but a simple home wine fridge will do the trick.
Don’t age wine if you can’t provide the right conditions! This is ideal, but a simple home wine fridge will do the trick.

Next Steps:

  • First, if you don’t already have them, go out and get yourself some proper glasses.  No need for the ultra expensive crystal set of 12, a simple set of glass flutes or tulips will do just fine.
  • Next is to try some Champagne!  One option is to try out a wine bar where you can experience as glass at a time.  The downside is that most wine bars are often lacking on sparkling options, and when they do have Champagne, they won’t offer it by the glass.  The other option is to grab a bottle from your local retailer.  Start with a basic NV Brut and work your way up from there.
  • Want to get a sense of Champagne without breaking the bank?  As mentioned earlier, many producers make very fine sparking wines using the Champagne method all over the world.  Just look for “Traditional/Champagne Method” or “In-Bottle 2nd Fermentation” on the label.  As mentioned earlier, anything labeled Cremant is French sparking wine made in the classic method outside of Champagne and most of what is imported drinks well and is a great value.
  • My favorites are the American versions produced by the Champagne houses themselves.  The best in my opinion are Domaine Chandon (Moët & Chandon), Mumm Napa (Mumm), Domaine Carneros (Tattinger), and my personal favorite Roederer Estate (Louis Roederer).  All are very good, give you a great taste Champagne style, and cost about half as much ($15-$30) as their French cousins.
  • For a real deal there’s nothing better than Cava, the Spanish interpretation of Champagne.  Cava is produced in the Traditional Method and can be easily be found for under $10 a bottle.
  • Learn more and become an expert.  This article covers only the bare basics and there’s a lot more information for those willing to seek it out.  A great place to start is French Wine for Dummies which devotes and entire chapter to Champagne.  Good luck and keep those bubbles flowing!

Port

Port: the greatest, and WASP'iest, of all fortified wines.
Port: the greatest, and WASP’iest, of all fortified wines.

After a hiatus, I’m pleased to announce that the how to WASP is back!  And to celebrate its return to the blogging world, I’ve decided to highlight one of my all-time favorite WASP’y indulgences: Port.  Now that I think of it, Champagne would have probably been a better celebratory choice… but that will have to come later.  So for now, Port!

No, we’re not talking about the seaside variety (although confusion could be understandable given the focus of this blog), but rather the undisputed king of all fortified wines.  When it comes to dining like a WASP, there is perhaps no better way to finish off a fine meal that a good glass of Port.  However, the subject can be surprisingly complicated, so it’s important that you know the basics before you can order, and most importantly enjoy, that tote of Cockburn (see Next Steps below) with confidence and pride.

What Exactly is Port?

Excellent question!  And to provide and answer, it is necessary to take a brief trip back in time.  Port, like most things WASP’y, is a product of the British and a dislike of the French.

As most students of history will know, England spent a good portion of the last millennium fighting the French.  However, by the 17th Century they ran into a problem.  The Brits had developed a taste for Continental wine, but thanks to their most recent war with the French, they suddenly found themselves cut off.  Their solution: simply get wine from Portugal (one of their few wine producing allies on the Continent) instead.

A pretty slick solution, but another problem quickly became evident; Portuguese wine proved to be much less stable than its French counterpart   As a result, the Portuguese wine would spoil during the extended sea voyages back to England.  Fortunately for all of us, the classic sense of British stick-to-itiveness prevailed.  They discovered that by adding a small amount of brandy (a process known as fortification) to the finished wine, it could be made stable to endure the long trip back to England and the wine we know as Port today was born.

A Port Primer

Now, you may be thinking “So that’s why it’s called Port, it’s from Portugal!” but you’d be wrong.

The namesake of Port is actually the city of Oporto, located on the Atlantic at the mouth of the Douro River.  This city is where the English set up their first Port Houses to distribute the newly invented wine and where they have remained ever since.  In fact the world’s first Port producer, Warre (established in 1670) is still operation there today!

The Douro Valley, one of the most scenic wine regions on Earth and where Port is born.
The Douro Valley, one of the most scenic wine regions on Earth and where Port is born.

So Port wine comes from Oporto, which makes perfect sense, but it gets a little more complicated.  While Port is distributed from Oporto, the wine is actually produced about 50 miles up the Douro River in the hot and ruggedly mountainous Douro Valley.  This is where the grapes are grown and the wine is fermented.  It’s then packed into barrels and sent down the river to Oporto, where it’s fortified, aged, bottled, and eventually shipped to Port lovers all over the world.

Styles of Port:

Port has two constants: It’s always sweet, and (almost) always red.  Beyond that, however, the varieties and styles of Port are nearly endless.

Part of that variety is thanks to the sheer number of grapes that are permitted in Port.  In most blended wines, you’ll see 3-4 grape varietals, tops.  In Port there are more than 80!  Although in practice the most common types used are Tempranillo, Touriga Nacional, and Tinta Barroca.

While the grapes certainly play a role in nature of a Port, it’s really the style of wine that determines its ultimate character (and price).  While there aren’t quite as many styles as grape varieties, there is still a lot to know, so pay attention!  Below are some of the most common Port styles, listed from lightest to fullest.

  • White Port:  White Port is just that, Port made from white grapes.  It’s not very popular and much more difficult to find that the red variety.  It’s also generally known to be not anywhere near as good.  I confess that I’ve never tried it myself, but I’ve heard that it’s best use is when served ice cold as a summer aperitif.  Not really in the same league as red Port, but I included it here for the sake of knowledge.  
  • Ruby Port: The youngest and simplest version of Port.  Just like the name implies, its typically deep red in color.  It’s also fruity, sweet, and easy drinking.  The wine itself is aged about 3 years in wood and is ready to drink as soon as it’s released.  In fact the younger it is, the better it will taste.  Ruby Port is also the cheapest Port available and often a great introduction to the wine.
  • Tawny Port:  By far the most popular and common type of Port you’ll encounter in an after dinner setting.  Tawny Port is generally a blend of good quality wines that have spent a long time aging in oak barrels.  While in the wood, the wine softens and turns to a pale garnet or brownish color (it tawnies, hence the name).  One point of
    Tawney Port is the most common style available.  Note the 20 year marking on the bottle, indicating the average aging of the wine in the blend.
    Tawney Port is the most common style available. Note the 20 year marking on the bottle, indicating the average aging of the wine in the blend.

    confusion is the age marked on the bottle, typically 10, 20, 30, or 40 year old.  This is NOT the age of the wine in the bottle, but rather the AVERAGE time the wines used in the blend have spend aging in barrels.  Tawny Port is generally less sweet and fruity than Ruby Port and offers more complex earthy/nutty flavors.  It varies wildly in quality and price, from less than $10 to well over $100.  Tawny Port is ready to drink upon release and won’t get better with age.

  • Colheita Port:  A sub-variety of Tawny Port where the blended wines are all from a single vintage, usually listed on the bottle.  In other words the wines from a single year are placed in wooden barrels and aged (tawnied) for many years before being bottled.  It’s generally better quality than regular Tawny, but not very common.
  • Late Bottled Vintage (LBV) Port:  This Port is made from a single, generally lesser quality, vintage year.  The wine is fermented and then aged in wooden barrels for anywhere from 4-6 years before being bottled.  The result is a darker, less soft, and much fuller style Port than the Tawny.  LBV Port is marked with the vintage data and ready to drink as soon as it’s released.  It’s fairly easy to find and you can expect to pay $20-30 for a half bottle, making it a fairly good value.
  • Vintage Port:  The crème de la crème of Ports.  Vintage Port is only made during the very best years and from the very best grapes.  It is aged for a scant two years in oak
    Some older bottle of Vintage Port.  Amazingly these are still drinkable and probably quite good.
    Some older bottle of Vintage Port. Amazingly these are still drinkable and probably quite good.

    barrels before it’s bottled and sold, which is not nearly enough time for the wine to soften or fully develop.  As a result, Vintage Port requires an enormous amount aging in the bottle before it’s ready to drink, typically around 20 years after the vintage, but sometimes even longer (70+ years) depending on the year!  However, the wait is worth it.  Vintage Port is not only one of the best dessert wines in the world, it’s one of the best wines period.  It’s extremely full bodied, rich, and chock full of flavors such as nuts, toffee, chocolate, and spice.  Recent release bottles of Vintage Port are fairly easy to find, but are expensive at $50-$100 a bottle.  For properly aged (and ready to drink bottles) expect to pay around $100 or more, sometimes much more…

Enjoying Your Port

OK, enough with the academic stuff, now it’s time to for the fun part: drinking Port.

As was mentioned earlier in the post, the good WASP will enjoy a glass of Port as an after dinner drink, which means you should too.  Because Port is a sweet wine, it’s the perfect compliment to dessert.

Truth be told, nothing goes better with a good glass of Port than a simple hunk of dark chocolate, but in general the rule is that Port will pair beautifully with any dark colored dessert.  In other words if chocolate or dark berries are listed in the ingredients, you’re good to go.  What if you’re having a light colored dessert?  Sorry, you’ll just have to wait for the post on Sauternes…

Proper Decanting is necessary to aerate and remove sediment from Vintage Port.
Proper Decanting is necessary to aerate and remove sediment from a Vintage Port.

Of course Port can also be enjoyed without dessert on its own.  Or for a truly classic paring, try a glass with walnuts, or any strongly flavored cheese (Bleu cheese is best).

If you’re serving Port at home (or just want to impress your friends/annoy your waiter) it should be served at cool room temperature, or roughly 65 degrees.  Most Ports can simply be poured and enjoyed, but properly aged Vintage Ports (don’t even think about serving otherwise) requires several hours of decanting to remove sediment and allow the wine to properly aerate.  It may seem like a lot of work, but just do it, otherwise you’ll have wasted that $100 investment and worse yet, cast yourself as a WASP noob in front of all your friends.

Port-ing Thoughts

Port really is a wonderful wine and, unlike most things WASP’y, actually represents a phenomenal value.  Port’s popularity has waned in recent years, which is bad for Port producers, but great for you as a consumer since low demand = low prices.  Good quality Ruby and Tawny Ports can easily be had for less than $20.  Even an expensive Port (like a $100+ bottle of Vintage Port) is a great deal considering a comparable quality dry red wine will cost hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars.

Another value consideration is that unlike normal wines (that will start to turn bad a mere day or two after uncorking) Port will stay good for weeks, or even months, after opening.   The reason of course is the fortification (adding brandy to wine to preserve it) that makes Port so special in the first place.  After all, if it could survive weeks in the cargo hold of a ship, a couple days on your shelf is nothing.

Oh, and one last parting word of warning…  Because Port is a fortified wine, it will typically have an alcohol content that is far higher than normal table wine, usually anywhere from 15-25%.  In other words, watch out!    Generally speaking, a serving of Port is about half that of a normal glass of wine, so pour and enjoy accordingly.  Cheers!

Next Steps:

  • The first step is obvious: Go out, buy some Port, and drink it! I recommend starting with a bottle of Ruby Port and working your way up from there.  The beauty of Port is that it’s usually available in half bottles and cheap enough to try a bunch of different brands and styles without breaking the bank.  And if it’s something you don’t care for, just pour it out or cork it up for a couple weeks till you can offer it to someone who does.
  • Real Port only comes from Portugal, but that hasn’t stopped others from imitating the
    Renwood, out of Amador, CA, makes an exceptional Zinfandel based Vintage Port.
    Renwood in Amador, CA makes an exceptional Zinfandel based Vintage Port.

    style.  Many wine producers (particularly in the US) make at least one port-style wine, often with very good results.  Typically these wines are made with local varieties (Zinfandel makes particularly good Port wine) and will be sold as Ruby or sometimes LBV style Port.  You’ll rarely see Tawney or Vintage offerings.  Some makers can call their wines Ports (via grandfathered rights, otherwise Port is trademarked and can only be used for real Port) but most will not.  You can identify them by their smaller bottles, alcohol content (around 20%), and usually find them along with the other fortified wines at the wine shop.

  • Most high end restaurants will include Port (almost always Tawney, but sometimes Ruby’s or Vintage as well) on the dessert menu, which you should absolutely try.  A popular offering is from a producer called Cockburn.  This is a wonderful choice, but you can save yourself some embarrassment by using the correct pronunciation: COH-burn.  Enjoy!

The Sunday Brunch

When it comes to upscale socialization and drinks before 5:00, brunch reigns supreme.

With Easter Sunday nearly upon us, what better time to highlight that WASP’iest of all meals: Brunch.  Aside from being one of America’s best loved portmanteaux, the mere mention of bunch is sure to conger up images of the classic WASP lifestyle.  Upscale social interaction, fancy restaurants, preppy attire, and of course, the hands-down best excuse to drink during the middle of the day.

That being said, brunch basics are a must-know for any serious student of WASP culture.  The good news is that learning to brunch (yes, it’s a noun and a verb) properly is one of the easiest lessons you’ll find on the how to WASP.  Really all that’s required is knowing when and where to show up, what to consume once you’re there, and then going out and experiencing it for yourself.  But first, a little history…

Brunch Beginnings:

Like most WASP’y, it should come as no surprise that the institution of bunch traces its origins back to Great Britain.  According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the term was first used by a man named Guy Baringer in an 1895 article he wrote for Hunter’s Weekly titled Brunch: A Plea.

The traditional English Sunday dinner doesn't exactly qualify as "light" fare.

Prior to Mr. Beringer’s plea, the typical English Sunday consisted of an early breakfast and morning church service followed by a formal Sunday dinner.  Now, it’s important to note that in those days, dinner didn’t mean the same thing that it does today today.  Rather than being the third and largest meal of the day served in the evening, dinner was more akin to a substantial late lunch, served around mid-afternoon.  It was largest meal of the day and typically followed by a smaller evening meal called supper.  The English Sunday dinner in particular was often an especially heavy meal consisting of substantial meat dishes and other savory offerings.

If that sounds a bit daunting, you’re not alone.  Guy Beringer thought exactly the same thing and in Brunch: A Plea he proposed an alternative:

Instead of England’s early Sunday dinner, a postchurch ordeal of heavy meats and savory pies, why not a new meal, served around noon, that starts with tea or coffee, marmalade and other breakfast fixtures before moving along to the heavier fare? By eliminating the need to get up early on Sunday, brunch would make life brighter for Saturday-night carousers. It would promote human happiness in other ways as well. Brunch is cheerful, sociable and inciting. It is talk-compelling. It puts you in a good temper, it makes you satisfied with yourself and your fellow beings, it sweeps away the worries and cobwebs of the week.

Remarkably, this more than a century old proposal almost exactly describes brunch as it exists today.  Essentially a lighter mid-day meal that serves both as an informal social occasion and a reprieve from having to get up too early after a little weekend excess.

Over the course of the 20th Century brunch steadily caught on United States.  It also developed its close association with WASP culture as the meal became a favorite post-church social activity among the upper class establishment.  The golden age of brunch probably occurred around mid-century when each Sunday millions of Episcopalians across the country would head out from church on a weekly trek to the nearest restaurant to eat, drink, and socialize with friends.

While church attendance gradually declined in the decades following World War II, the institution of Sunday brunch stuck around.  Partly out of respect for social tradition, partly out of the appeal of not having to get up too early, and partly out of the aforementioned excuse to drink before five o’clock, brunch thankfully still remains relevant today.

A Quick Guide to Brunching Like a WASP:

As mentioned earlier, there’s really not too much involved when it comes to brunch, but there are couple pointers for first timers looking to do it right.  Remember that brunch is by nature informal and fun, so please consider the following general guidelines rather than absolute rules.

What Day? – Brunch was traditionally served on Sunday and that remains the case today.  Technically you could have brunch any day of the week, but you’ll find most restaurants offering a specialized brunch menu will only offer it on Sunday.

Today most Americans only go to brunch as couple times a year, usually for special occasions like Mothers Day, Valentines Day, or Easter.  However, there’s really no need to limit yourself.  I would encourage you to have brunch as often as you like, every week if possible!

What Time? – Every restaurant is different, but usually you’ll find brunch being offered from 10:30 AM to 2:00 PM.  Sometimes it may begin a little sooner, or end a little later.  In general if you plan on showing up sometime during the late morning you should be OK.

Where to Go? – To do brunch right, you’ll want to find a nicer, fairly upscale, restaurant.  Preferably one that offers a dedicated brunch menu, or at the very least offers both breakfast and lunch options.  This doesn’t necessarily mean the most expensive place in town, just someplace nice.  Could you simply catch a late breakfast at Denny’s?  Sure, just keep in mind you’ll be straying a bit from the WASP ideal.

The good news is that since brunch is not a formal meal, most restaurants that might normally be out of your price range for dinner typically offer much more reasonable prices for daytime fare.  Some places will even have special deals just for brunch.  A little research can really pay off.

The general sort of upscale/casual atmosphere you're looking for when scouting a brunch locale.

What to Wear? – Back in the old days it was easy, you simply dressed in whatever you wore to  church.  Today however, the key is balance.  On the one hand brunch is supposed to be a somewhat casual occasion.  On the other it’s still a traditional social event taking place in a nice setting.    If you do decide to dress up, you won’t look out of place, but in general you can get away with a sort of preppy/casual style.  If you’re having trouble deciding between outfits, always err on the side of a little too formal.

You'll never go wrong with Eggs Benedict!

What to Eat? – One of the great things about brunch is the shear selection of choices available.  Because you’re in between breakfast and lunch, it’s appropriate to order either.  Eggs, Bacon, Waffles, Pancakes, Salads, Sandwiches… sky’s the limit.  Brunch is the one meal where everyone at the table can get just about anything they like, all served at the same time.

Personally I favor the breakfast side of the menu.  In fact my go-to selection is Eggs Benedict, which I consider to be brunch royalty.  You get a little bit of everything on a single plate.  The eggs, sausage, and English muffin suggest a casual breakfast while the hollandaise sauce brings a touch of rich decadence to the party.  If you can’t decide on what to get, you’ll never go wrong with Eggs Benedict.

What to Drink? – Brunch offers one of the few socially acceptable excuses to drink in the middle of the day, so you should definitely take advantage!  The only catch is that you’ll want to stick to a few pre-approved choices to avoid standing out.  Translation:  Save the beer and martinis for happy hour.

Basically there are two options: The Bloody Mary and the Mimosa.  Fortunately what you lose in quantity, you more than make up for in quality as both are excellent options and perfectly suited to brunch dining.  For those who many not be familiar with one or the other:

    • Bloody Mary: A savory tomato juice and vodka based cocktail with spicy kick.  It’s a heavy duty drink that can go with just about anything and is a true WASP classic.  Find out more here!
    • Mimosa: A sweeter cocktail of orange juice and Champagne, mixed in a ratio of 1/3 juice to 2/3 wine.  Technically if it’s not Champagne (with a capital C), it’s not a Mimosa, but these days any sparkling wine has become an acceptable, and far more common, alternative.  Mimosas are best enjoyed with egg and mushroom based dishes.
Your brunch cocktail options: Mimosas (left) or a Bloody Mary (right). You really can't go wrong with either.

That’s really all there is to it.  Stick to the guidelines above and you’ll be out brunching like a pro in no time!

Next Steps:

  • Again, this one’s easy, just grab a few friends this (or any) Sunday and have brunch!  Even better, set up a standing weekly brunch and turn it into a new tradition.
  • While Easter brunch is a great tradition, and one I encourage you to try, there’s something to be said for the “off” weekends as well.  By off weekend I mean any Sunday that’s not Mothers Day, Valentines Day, or Easter.  The crowds will be much thinner and the atmosphere more casual and conducive to socialization.
  • Put together a brunch appropriate wardrobe.  While looking sharp for brunch is an obvious benefit, having a go-to preppy-casual outfit can serve you well in a host of other situations.  In fact I’d call the preppy/casual look one of the most versatile dress options today.  Not sure where to start?  You can’t go wrong at Brooks Brothers.
  • Bon Appetite and Happy Easter!

The Single-Malt Scotch

Few things scream WASP like a glass of good single-malt scotch.

In the pantheon of WASP culture, few treasures are as coveted and revered as a bottle of good Single Malt Scotch Whiskey.   Scotch has always enjoyed a certain amount of mystique.  It’s the drink that everyone knows, few dare to try, and fewer still know anything about.  It’s also possibly the strongest (both literally and figuratively) “statement” drink out there today, in that scotch has the ability to project that WASP’y image like no other.  Don’t believe me?  Order a glass of next time you’re out to dinner with friends and see what happens for yourself.

But wait, not so fast!  There are a few things you should know before hitting the bar.  Like most things WASP’y, scotch can be a somewhat complicated and confusing subject.  It’s also important to concede right off the bat that scotch does has a few things going against it.

First, scotch is definitely an acquired taste.  This is probably the single largest barrier for the average scotch virgin.  They get a glass, smell it, have a sip, grimace, and immediately go back to their boring old vodka cocktail.  However, I believe the common mistake most first timers (myself included) make is that they try cheap scotch.  This makes sense as the vast majority of scotch out there is the cheap, comes in a plastic bottle, variety.  Bluntly put, it tastes like crap.  When you’re ready to give scotch a serious try, spend a little extra money, you’ll be glad you did.  Even good quality scotch  is still an acquired taste, but you’ll find it’s much easier to acquire than the cheap stuff.  Which brings us to the second issue…

This bottle of Macallan 60 year old scotch costs as much as a midsize family sedan.

It’s expensive – or rather, it can be expensive.  In reality scotch prices run the gamut from less than $10 to more than $10,000 a bottle and, like most things in life, you get what you pay for.   In other words, you’ll want to avoid the really cheap stuff.  A typical “good” bottle of Scotch will usually range anywhere from $30 – $100 depending on the age and producer.  While that’s not inexpensive, it’s not outrageous either considering the amount of time and effort that went into creating it and that contents won’t go bad after opening (like wine).  What makes a good scotch? Well, keep reading and find out!

A Primer on Scotch Whiskey:

No one knows for sure when the Scots first started making whiskey, but it is known that the ancient Celts produced distilled spirits, which eventually evolved into the scotch whiskey we know today.  The first recorded example of distillation in Scotland is attributed to Christian monks during the 11th Century A.D.  However, scotch whiskey didn’t hit the big time until the 19th Century.  It was then that reductions in whiskey taxes, the advent of new distillation technology, and the outbreak of the phylloxera epidemic (which destroyed European wine production)  combined to push scotch to the forefront of the British drinking scene.  It’s remained a favorite and a classic ever since.

Many modern day distilleries have been operating since the 19th Century.

Scotch whiskey is essentially like every other whiskey in the world, in that it’s a spirit distilled from cereal grains, and subsequently mellowed through aging in wood casks.  What makes scotch unique is the type of grain used (barley), the manufacturing process, and of course the fact that it can only be made only in Scotland.

Today scotch falls into one of two major categories:  Blended and Single Malt.

Blended Scotch Whiskey: The vast majority (more than 90%) of scotch available in the US today falls into this category.  Essentially blended scotch is exactly what it sounds like, a product that’s created by blending various other whiskeys (sometimes as many as 50 or more) together.  The idea is to create a softer style of whiskey that appeals to a wide audience.  Similar to the great Champagne houses of France, each blended scotch producer of  has a certain “house style” that they’re known for.

One of the primary differences between a single malt scotch and a blended scotch in terms of quality (and cost) is that in addition to pure malt whiskey, the latter may incorporate cheaper grain whiskey (mass produced from corn) into the blend.  In fact the typical ratio for blended scotch consists of 60% grain to only 40% malt.   The higher the proportion of malt whiskey in the blend, the higher quality (and more expensive) a given scotch will be.

Johnnie Walker is one of the most famous brands of blended scotch. The Black Label version is aged 12 years and comparable to a quality single malt.

Another determination of quality is the age of the blend.  Normally most whiskeys used in the blend are aged about 5 years.   However, some higher quality blended scotches will use whiskeys that have been aged longer, sometimes much longer.  For example, if you see a bottle of blended scotch labeled as 12 year, that tells you that every whiskey in the blend (both grain and malt) has been aged for at least 12 years.

One common misconception when it comes to blended Scotch is that they’re inferior to single malts.  While that’s often true, remember that a high quality blended scotch can actually be much better than a cheap single malt.

Single Malt Scotch Whiskey:  Now we’re getting into the real WASP territory.  No other drink conjures images of the WASP lifestyle like a glass of fine single malt scotch.  But what’s all the fuss about?  Well, lets find out!

As we just learned, blended scotch typically only contains about 40% actual malt whiskey, with the remainder of the blend being cheaper, mass produced grain whiskey.  Single malt scotch on the other hand is 100% malt whiskey.  In fact to be considered a single malt, a scotch must be:

    • The product of a single distillery
    • Made exclusively from barely malt
    • Made in Scotland

The actual process of making malt whiskey is both expensive and labor intensive.  It begins with the grain (in this case specially selected barely), which is subsequently malted.  Malting means that the barely has been soaked in water to the point of germination, or when it’s just beginning to  sprout.

The malted barely is then dried in kilns fired by peat and coal.  The use of peat during the drying process is one of the unique aspects of Scotch whiskey and it imparts a distinctive smokey flavor and aroma to the finished product.  Next, the dried malted barely is mixed into warm water to create a mash and yeast is added to begin the fermentation process.

Peat is harvested from bogs and was traditionally used as a source of fuel. Today it’s burned in kilns to dry out the malted barley, which helps give scotch whiskey its unique flavor.

After fermentation is complete, the mash is distilled and finally pumped into wooden casks for aging.   After 3 years, you’ve got yourself a single malt scotch whiskey.  In the end each batch of whiskey is a unique product of its maker and environment, with a distinct style all its own.  No two distilleries will ever produce the same single malt and that’s part of the mystique and allure of the spirit.   

Like their blended cousins, higher quality single malts are often aged longer than the 3 year required by law.  As the whiskey ages in the barrel, its tastes and aromas evolve.  The whiskey also becomes more mellow and smoother with time.  Usually you’ll see scotch sold as 10, 12, 16, or 18 year old, with the price increasing accordingly.  It’s also possible to find even older examples such as 20, 30, or even 60 year old single malt, although they’ll cost as much as a car payment, or sometimes even the entire car!

Enjoying a Nip:

OK, now that you know what makes a single malt scotch special, it’s time to head out and try some for yourself.  Once you’re at the liquor store, you’ll probably be bombarded with a number of options.  As we learned, each distillery makes its own unique style of scotch and unless you’re familiar with that brand, you’ll never know exactly what to expect.  There are however some general geographic guidelines that can help.  scotch production is divided into three major areas, with each focusing on a general style of whiskey.  They are:

    • The Highlands:  Basically all of northern Scotland, this is the largest production region.  Most of the distilleries are located in a sub-region called Speyside (for its proximity to the Spey river).  General characteristics of highland single malts are rich flavors, smokiness, and a touch of sweetness.  Think of them as medium body whiskeys.
    • The Lowlands:  Mainly known for the grain whiskey distilleries used in blended scotch, but there are a few single malt distilleries here as well.  They’re known for a much lighter style scotch, both in terms of flavor and color.  They sometimes have a sweet scent and fruity characteristics.  Think of them as light bodied whiskeys.
    • Islay: The smallest of all Scotch regions, Islay is an island off the western coast of Scotland.  It’s known for its heavily, full bodied style whiskeys.  They often have an intense peaty flavor and seaweed or brine-like aromas.
Map of Scotland showing the three primary whiskey regions.

Once you’ve decided on a style and got a bottle picked out, it’s time to drink.  This may seem like the easy part, but be warned that some people take their scotch very seriously and drinking it the wrong way can be a major faux pas.

In this case the “wrong” way refers not to the physical act of drinking, but rather to how the drink is prepared.   When it comes to scotch, there are really only a few acceptable preparations:

    • With a cocktail mixer – Such as cola
    • With Water – Still or Soda, as preferred
    • On the Rocks – Served over ice
    • Neat – Nothing but the Scotch, served at room temperature

The general rule is that the better (more expensive) the scotch, the less acceptable it is to alter the flavor with additional ingredients.  So, for example, while it’s perfectly OK to add a splash of Coke to a cheap blended scotch, you might get punched in the face for doing the same to a fine 30 year old single malt.  For some, the only acceptable preparation for really good scotch is neat, but you can generally get away with “on the rocks” in most situations.  Save the water and other mixers for blended whiskeys.

Neat typically means at room temp. But for those who want a little chill without diluting their whiskey, scotch rocks are available. Cool them in your freezer and use in place of ice.

Some people take their tasting very seriously, but for the beginner there are just a few characteristics you should be looking for.  First is whether there are any obvious fruity or citrus characteristics which are products of the malted barely.  A lot of the flavor will come from the barrel aging, which can contribute flavors such as vanilla, coffee, toffee, spice, or caramel.  There will also probably be a peaty or smokey flavor from the kiln drying process.  Finally, some aged scotches can take on tropical flavors such as coconut or banana.

Armed with the above knowledge you’ve got everything you need to buy, drink, and hopefully appreciate scotch like a pro.  And to that last point, one final word of warning; Scotch is definitely NOT something you want drink to get drunk.  Don’t be mistaken, it’ll do the job and then some, but you’ll likely experience one of the worst hangovers of your life.  Just remember that Scotch, like all things WASP’y, is best when kept classy.  Enjoy!

Next Steps:

  • Head out and try some scotch for yourself.  Be sure to spend a little extra and buy something worth trying, or you’ll surely be disappointed.  A 12 year old single malt from a major distiller (Glenfiddich, Glenlivet, Macallen) is a good compromise between quality and price.
  • Remember that scotch is an acquired taste that might take some getting used to.  One way to ease yourself into it is by mixing in some water to dilute the taste.  If you’re drinking a single malt, pour it over the rocks.  For blended whiskey, I enjoy a splash of soda water thrown in as well.
  • You may think of scotch as the quintessential man’s drink, and it is (Remember it was Bill Brasky’s spirit of choice)!  However, most men will admit there’s something undeniably appealing about a girl who can appreciate a glass of good single malt.  For ladies, knowing the basics of scotch can help make a powerful and lasting impression among the right company.